can you give feedback to my peers/classmate (follow the red guide please) 1 paragraph

profileLiz2013

Review and respond to at least two of your classmates as early in the milestone as possible. Be sure to be honest, clear, and concise and always use constructive language, even in criticism, to work toward the goal of positive progress.

                                                    Young Woman Sets New World Record

 

    There's been conglomerate world record's set from all over, but there hasn't been a record set for most surgical procedure's done on the back yet. Not till this young woman, Susan Cohen was discovered. Susan's a 32 year old female from North Carolina. She moved to Florida at the age of 15, and used to love being active with bike riding, hiking, camping hanging out with friends, and working multiple occupations at one time. She'd joined, and shipped off to the ARMY two weeks after graduating high school, but had to return home a year later after obtaining numerous injuries. She still held her head high though. She got one of her old job's back, and was planning on returning back to the military in two yrs. That was when they would let her join again, but little did she know that her dream would be shattered into little pieces within the blink of an eye.

     It all started back on December 29th, 2004 when she was 20 years old. She was on a road trip with her fiancée, and his uncle. Her fiancée's uncle was driving, her fiancée was sleeping in the back seat and she was sleeping in the passenger's front seat when all of a sudden they were in a lethal car accident. Apparently her fiancée's uncle was going 95 mph, and hit a truck that was stopped on the highway. Susan was propelled thru the windshield, and was instantly killed. The paramedics were somehow able to revive her, but she didn't regain consciences until about 2 months later after spinal surgery. Previously she was in a coma for those 2 months. When she woke up she was completely paralyzed from her neck down, and she found out that her neck was broken at C3, and her vocal cords were crushed, L1 vertebra was crushed, L2, and L3 were broken, all her ribs were broken, and her spleen was punctured from one of her broken ribs. This was very horrifying for Susan, but she still thanked God that she was blessed to have regained her feeling. She had to stay in the hospital until she achieved the tasks of learning to feed herself again, and learning to walk again. This took several months, but when she finally got home then she felt like she was finally on her real road to recovery, and to recovering her life back. Well, this road to recovery was not an easy one by no means. A few years later she ended up re breaking her back, which left her paralyzed for 2, and 1/2 years. All together after 7 spinal surgeries, 10 epidurals, and 15 spinal injections, and 12 years later then she's finally able to stand on her own, and walk very short distances without a break. Susan couldn't be more proud of those first steps either.

    Now, Susan's very excited to be awarded into the Guinness World Records. She's stays optimistic, and is looking forward to seeing what she can do in the next 10 years. She's currently going back to school to get her degree in Photography at Ai Art Institute of Pittsburg, and can't wait to start her new career when she graduates.  

        Thank you,

      Susan Kelton

    

    • 8 years ago
    • 5
    Answer(1)

    Purchase the answer to view it

    blurred-text
    • attachment
      response2.docx
    Bids(1)